Finding the Right Therapist: A Game-Changer for Your Self-Worth Journey

Are you tired of carrying everyone else's emotional baggage? Whether you're in Blackpool, elsewhere in Lancashire, or anywhere across the UK, finding the right therapist can be transformative, like finally putting down a heavy rucksack you've been carrying for years.

Why Your Self-Esteem Matters More Than You've Been Taught

Before we talk about finding the right counsellor, let's be honest about why good self-esteem is vital, especially for millennial women who've often been taught that our worth comes from what we do for others.

Self-esteem is the relationship you have with yourself, your beliefs about your abilities, your value, and whether you're worthy just as you are. For many of us, these beliefs have been shaped by "good girl" conditioning that taught us to be small, accommodating, and perpetually pleasant.

When you struggle with low self-esteem, you might:

• Constantly second-guess yourself in work and relationships

• Feel responsible for everyone else's feelings

• Say "yes" when you desperately want to say "no"

• Filter yourself to avoid being "too much"

• Believe you need to earn rest, love, and basic care

This isn't just uncomfortable, it's bloody exhausting! Constant self-criticism leads to anxiety, depression, resentment, and strained relationships. You weren't meant to live this way, and therapy can help you put down these burdens.

Building a Foundation for Self-Worth That's Actually Yours

Whether you choose face-to-face sessions in Blackpool or online therapy from anywhere in the UK, the right therapeutic approach creates a space where you can explore who you really are beneath all the expectations and "shoulds."

Working with a therapist who understands these struggles, you can:

• Recognise and challenge your harsh inner critic

• Identify which burdens are actually yours and which were placed on you by others

• Build self-compassion instead of self-judgement

• Practice setting boundaries without the crushing guilt

• Discover your authentic voice and the permission to use it

When you find the right therapist, you're building a sturdy foundation of self-worth. One that doesn't depend on being perfect, helpful, or constantly available to others.

The Heart of Effective Therapy: A Relationship Based on Acceptance

The most transformative aspect of therapy isn't techniques or theories, it's the relationship between you and your therapist.

This connection should be based on:

• Empathy and understanding: Feeling truly seen, perhaps for the first time

• Authenticity: No stuffy jargon, just real conversations with warmth

• Acceptance: A space where you can be your unfiltered, imperfect self

When you feel safe enough to be real with your therapist, healing happens.

As psychologist Carl Rogers put it: "When I have been listened to and heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on."

Finding Your Perfect Match: Therapy Tailored for You

Just as you're unique, your therapy should be too. What works brilliantly for someone else might not be right for you. This is why it's essential to consider your specific needs when choosing a therapist in Blackpool or for online sessions.

Some approaches that often resonate with women dealing with self-worth struggles:

• Pluralistic therapy: Drawing from different approaches based on what works best for you

• Compassion Focused Therapy: Learning to quiet your harsh inner critic

• Parts work: Understanding conflicting aspects of yourself

• Person-centred approaches: Being truly seen and accepted as you are

The right therapist will adapt their approach to suit you—not expect you to fit their preferred model.

Northern Context: Finding a Therapist Who Gets It

As a Northern woman practicing in Blackpool but serving clients throughout the UK online, I understand that our cultural context shapes how we express ourselves and approach problems.

If you're from the North, you might relate to:

• Being told to "get on with it" rather than acknowledge struggles

• Valuing directness but feeling uncertain how to apply it to your own needs

• The clash between community-minded values and individual boundaries

Finding a therapist who understands these nuances can make all the difference in feeling understood from the start.

What to Look For: Qualifications That Matter

While connection is crucial, professional credentials ensure ethical, effective practice:

• A minimum Level 4 diploma in counselling

• Membership with professional bodies like BACP, NCS, or UKCP

• Specialised training in areas relevant to women's needs (self-esteem, boundaries, people-pleasing)

These qualifications provide a framework of professionalism and accountability that protects you as a client.

The Advantages of Both In-Person and Online Therapy

I offer both options to suit your preferences and circumstances:

Face-to-Face Sessions in Blackpool

• A dedicated space away from your daily environment

• Physical presence that some find more grounding

• The possibility of leaving your concerns behind when you close the door

Online Therapy for UK Clients

• Access quality therapy regardless of your location

• No commuting time or travel costs

• Comfort of your own familiar environment

• Flexibility to fit around other commitments

Both approaches offer the same level of care, connection, and potential for transformation.

Starting the Conversation: Questions Worth Asking

Before committing to therapy, have an initial chat with potential therapists.

Here are some questions to consider:

• What approach do you use and how might it help with my specific struggles?

• What experience do you have working with women dealing with people-pleasing and boundary issues?

• How would you describe your therapy style?

• What might our work together look like?

Beyond these questions, trust your gut. Do you feel comfortable with this therapist? Does the therapist seem authentic and warm? Do you feel heard and understood, even in this brief interaction?

When It's Not Clicking: Permission to Find a Better Fit

If you don't feel comfortable with your therapist after a few sessions, that's important information. A therapy relationship that doesn't feel right can become a distraction from the actual work.

You can:

• Discuss what isn't working directly with your therapist

• Ask if they could adjust their approach

• Request a referral to someone who might be a better fit

• Begin a new search yourself

Remember: seeking a better match isn't failure—it's self-care and self-advocacy.

The Transformative Potential of the Right Therapeutic Relationship

When you find the right therapist, it's like finding a dance partner who follows your rhythm. Together, you create a space where transformation becomes possible, where you can put down the burdens that were never yours to carry and discover the lightness of authentic living.

I offer both face-to-face sessions in Blackpool (FY4 area) and secure online therapy for women throughout the UK. My virtual sessions provide the same quality of care and connection as in-person therapy, allowing women anywhere to access support.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation call so we can chat about what you're looking for and see if we might be a good fit. There's no pressure or obligation to book after this.

I know how important it is to "click" with your therapist, and I want the best outcomes for you.

Ultimately, therapy is about putting down what was never yours to carry and finding freedom on the other side. You deserve that lightness.

Hannah Mclachlan is a pluralistic therapist based in Blackpool, Lancashire, specialising in helping millennial women break free from people-pleasing, perfectionism, and carrying burdens that were never theirs. She offers both in-person and online therapy for women throughout the UK.

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