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Why Finding the Right Therapist Matters


A woman in a therapy session for self-esteem blackpool
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The Impact of Finding the Right Therapist on Self-Esteem


Finding the right therapist can have an incredible impact on your journey to a healthier self-esteem. It's like finding the perfect puzzle piece, a warm, cozy blanket on a chilly day, a safe haven.


Unlocking Confidence: The Impact of Self-Esteem on Mental Well-Being


Before we talk about the importance of finding the right counsellor, let's take a moment to appreciate why good self-esteem is so vital in our lives. Self-esteem is the overall opinion you have of yourself, the beliefs you have about your abilities and limitations and whether you like and value yourself. This is shaped by your thoughts, relationships, and experiences. Sometimes, people refer to self-esteem as self-confidence, self-worth, self-image, or a sense of feeling secure in yourself. When you struggle with low self-esteem, it can feel really difficult to change, but don’t lose hope.


Having high self-esteem can protect us from developing anxiety and depression as it motivates us to look after ourselves. In contrast, constant self-criticism can lead to feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, guilt, and shame. Low self-esteem has been linked to poor relationships and addictions such as shopping, alcohol, and drugs.


Healing Through Therapy: Building a Sturdy Foundation for Self-Esteem


Therapy can help you to explore your perceptions of yourself and recognise your negative self-talk. It’s a space to build acceptance and compassion for yourself and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Working on your self-esteem with a therapist can provide a sturdy foundation that you can build your dreams and ambitions on, recognising and valuing your own worth.


The Heart of Therapy: The Relationship with Your Counsellor


The most important part of therapy is the relationship you develop with your counsellor. This is based on empathy and understanding, realness or being genuine and acceptance. It’s a space where you can be your true self, free of judgement or expectations. These things are all vital to feel safe and supported. This means trust, a sense of respect and shared focus can develop. When you feel safe, it allows you to be open to explore yourself with your counsellor alongside you. This connection is where healing takes place.


When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on – Carl Rogers.

Tailoring Success: The Power of Personalised Therapy


Every person is wonderfully unique, and we all have different needs. It is important to recognise these, and it is a great first step in building your self-esteem. Once you have thought about what your needs may be and what you’d like to achieve in your therapy it is really important to keep these in mind when choosing your therapist. This is to make sure they can offer a tailored approach to meet them. There is no one-size-fits-all in therapy so it’s really important you find the right fit for you, to get the most out of your sessions and achieve better outcomes. If your counsellor understands your individual wants and needs, you can work together on your goals in an environment you feel accepted in. If this all feels very daunting, you can ask to look at this with the counsellor, to help you figure out what it really is that you want.


Choosing the Right Therapist: Qualifications and Experience Matter


Look at perspective counsellors qualifications and experience. They should hold a minimum of a Level 4 diploma in counselling. Being a member of a professional body such as BACP, NCS or UKCP, makes sure they are working in line with best practice. This ensures their policies and boundaries are clear and ethical. Choosing a therapist with specialised training or experience in self-esteem matters can make all of the difference as they already have the knowledge and skills to help you thrive.


Exploring Therapeutic Approaches: Finding the Right Fit for You


There are lots of different models of therapy to suit individual needs. CBT is structured and focuses on thoughts and behaviour, PCT is lead by the client and is non-directive, this means your counsellor may not say much. Psychodynamic therapy focuses on the past, Solution focused therapy doesn’t look at the problem and focuses on change, which is more like coaching. Pluralistic therapy believes that different approaches, work for different people at different times. It uses a mixture of theories to meet different client needs and works with your preferences and goals. Have a think about which of these you think fits with you and keep these in mind.


Interviewing Potential Therapists: Asking the Right Questions


So, what are the next steps? You can interview potential therapists to see if you think you might be a good fit. Write some questions down and contact a few counsellors you have found for an initial session. Here are some examples of questions you can ask:

  • What training do you have?

  • What experience do you have?

  • What approach do you use? Is that suitable for your needs?

  • What would you suggest for my problem?

  • Are you registered with a professional body?

  • Have you worked with clients with similar problems to mine?

  • Have they been to therapy?

  • What kind of sessions do they offer? Face-to-face, online, telephone?

  • Do they offer any flexibility with appointment scheduling?

The Importance of Comfort and Safety in Therapeutic Relationships


It’s important to remember that although these things are important, the most vital thing is that you feel comfortable and safe around them. Everyone is wary of strangers; however, it is important to trust your gut feelings about this feeling of safety and approachability. Bear in mind that it can sometimes take a few sessions for you to feel totally comfortable and be yourself, but do they seem authentic and kind? Do you feel you can trust them? It's about being heard, understood, and valued, are these things you felt when you spoke to them?


The Not-So-Perfect Match: What to Do if there's No Spark


If you don’t get on with your counsellor, you may be reluctant to open up to them and trust them. You might be preoccupied with the issues in your relationship and focus on this rather than your problems. If you don’t click, you can talk to your counsellor about what isn’t working. Maybe they could adjust your sessions towards your preferences more? If this is not possible your counsellor may be able to recommend another local therapist who is more suited to your needs, preferences and personality or you can begin a new search yourself.


Compatibility and Transformation: Dancing Through Therapy Together


Compatibility between you and your therapist is like a dance – it's all about finding your rhythm together. Building rapport and trust, especially in those initial stages, lays the groundwork for a transformative journey ahead.



With all of this in mind, I offer a free initial consultation, just so we can have a chat to see if you feel comfortable, at ease, safe and if we get on. There’s no pressure or obligation for you to book in after this, as I know how important it is to “click” with a counsellor and ultimately, I want the best outcomes for you!



Blackpool based self-esteem counsellor smiling
Contact me to see if we "Click"

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